Get Your Beard On

MINI DADDY (ADRIANSITO) EL NIÑO MAS BONITO

There has been a hole in the fat-mexican-child-rapper-with-dancing-chiquitas-flacas market.

Until now.

Dancing Aerobics Exercise with Fat Obese Girls, Sports Studio Club Fitness by B.K. Bazhe, bazhe.com

The Fly Girls, 20 years later.

Dancing Obese Girl

The Mayans predicted that in the year 2010 the world would witness a prolific change. Some say there were warning of the apocalypse. But watch the above video and be a witness. You are seeing that which will become our savior. A girl of humble beginnings who dances with a passion not yet understood on this mortal plane. When she is ready she will lead us to the holy land, where we will dance fatly for all eternity.

I wait with baited breath until the day she accepts her rightful role as our delicious leader.

Cindy- the Diva of Dance Fat

There have been major stars over the fat decades. In the 50's Shirley Temple's overweight sister Shirblet enchanted audiences with your adorable pudge, rolling around on stage in a pile of fudge. The 70's brought disco and with it the Tubbs and the Blubbs, a funk band famous for their song, "Shake your Neck Fat".

But the undisputed Queen of Dance Fat has and will forever be Cindy. Her passion was palatable (it tasted like gravy) and her vision never compromised. Here we see an excerpt from her acceptance speech from the MTV Video awards after taking home "Best Fat Video" in a landslide. Seriously, the year prior she had caused a landslide after taking home "Best Kiss" at the MTV movie awards.

She passed earlier this year. While the mainstream covered the untimely passing of Michael Jackson, many legit new outlets had the real story. Her body was set to sea, just as she had always wanted. A week later, 2 Cuban boys were found floating on her, presumably searching for freedom. But those in the know understand that they were angels, little cuban angels sent to navigate her home.

Fat German Kid

For everyone shitting all over fat americans, I have this to say...don't forget to shit on fat Germans! Blubber is the international language (except in Ethiopia) and the Germans love to shout it, even after a very early age. Take this little kraut for example, he can't wait to sing his triumphant song! Roughly translated the chorus reads, "I love the water, I love vertical stripes and green pants, I love pirate earrings, but most of all I love my portly dispostion. I am so warm!" Feel free to verify those lyrics.

Single Ladies? More Like Double (Whopper) Mangina

It must be some fermone that Beyonce's apple bottom emits, but her songs seem to induce fat people into a trance where they are compelled to dress in tight-fitting, ill-formed spandex suits and hump to and fro. Personally, it makes me sick. Not in the way that it makes normal people sick. Sick because I slowly see my niche talent becoming too popular and ruining my fledgling dance career.