Fat German Kid

For everyone shitting all over fat americans, I have this to say...don't forget to shit on fat Germans! Blubber is the international language (except in Ethiopia) and the Germans love to shout it, even after a very early age. Take this little kraut for example, he can't wait to sing his triumphant song! Roughly translated the chorus reads, "I love the water, I love vertical stripes and green pants, I love pirate earrings, but most of all I love my portly dispostion. I am so warm!" Feel free to verify those lyrics.

Single Ladies? More Like Double (Whopper) Mangina

It must be some fermone that Beyonce's apple bottom emits, but her songs seem to induce fat people into a trance where they are compelled to dress in tight-fitting, ill-formed spandex suits and hump to and fro. Personally, it makes me sick. Not in the way that it makes normal people sick. Sick because I slowly see my niche talent becoming too popular and ruining my fledgling dance career.

Dance Fat Special: Fat Americans

Boy oh boy!

Now I know this isn't a dance video, but it is a fat video and just like my mama say, "eating half a pie is better than not eating any pie a'tall". You're damn right about that, Big Mama!

Check out this tribute to Fat Americans doing Fat American things- you can even see my lil' baby brother light himself on fire! We don't talk much these days- he lost a bunch of weight and thought he was better than us. In this video, he's half the size he was when he was living with me in the basement, eating from a trough.